The Super Boat races 2013

It's a bit of a misnomer to call these vessels boats, yes they float and travel on the water, but beyond that they bare little resemblance to what most of us use in our daily life. To me they conjure terms like space shuttle, fighter jet, Formula 1 race car, and the ilk.

Crew help the drivers, and throttle men squeeze through a small water tight hatch on top and into formed seats. Hans devices are passed down and installed. Next come helmets loaded with comm gear. Restraints are fastened. Looking down the dock, I see a portable air conditioning system being disconnected from a craft being cleared for departure. See, it already sounds like a description of a fighter aircraft being prepared for a mission. The only thing that seems to be missing are the heads up displays, and the air to air missiles. 

KVH 24/7, why not others?

It was a good service call, and it's all over in about 30 minutes. It was a 2007 KVH M4 dome that stopped acquiring the DirecTV satellites. I could hear it whirring around looking, unwrapping its cables, seeking again, but no TV signal joy was to be had. The DirecTV receiver also verified the story. The endless searching for satellites message. Testing the transponders showed zero signal.  Not even a whiff of RF was detected. But I was ready.

I had KVH's software on my netbook, and everything on this boat is super convenient. The KVH data port is right next to both the TV and the receiver. This is the Christmas miracle of marine electronics work. An air conditioned cabin cool enough to hang a side of Angus beef in, everything is within a couple of feet of me, and I don't smell or look like a sweat soaked old guy.

Hurricane preparedness

The lovely, and most aptly named West Marine associate Marina agreed to pose in front of her hand crafted Hurricane preparedness poster. I thought her Vanna White pose was the best of the photos I took. I liked two additional aspects of her art work. The wind flayed captain's boxer shorts are detailed with West Marine logos, and his expression reminds me of Nick Park's Wallace and Gromit claymation characters. Many thanks Marina.

The Alberg Triton

Looking around the N. E. Taylor boatyard, my eyes passed over a small sloop, and then immediately snapped back. That's a Carl Alberg design for sure, and you don't see many on Florida's west coast. It must be an Alberg 30, but somethings not quite right. 

In the 80's I lived in the Toronto area, and Kate and I were boat shopping. The list was broad at first and then got narrower as we winnowed down the list. One of the early options was the Alberg 30 built by the Whitby Boat Works. I loved the classic lines, but the cockpit seemed at the time to be more exposed then I liked. Georgian Bay's waters are at best cold, and at its worst freezing. It was also a little smaller than than I wanted. 

The search shifted to the Alberg 37's, but I just couldn't find the right one. Next on the list were the C&C 34's, and we crawled through a lot of them, but in the end we got a great deal on a Mirage 35 and had it delivered to Midland Ontario. This boat however is a Alberg designed Pearson built Triton....I think, because there is a bit of a mystery about it.

Outracing technology.

It's not uncommon prior to the annual Suncoast Super Boat Grand Prix offshore boat races that I get some chores to do, and this year was no exception. I can't give you any details about the boat, But I can show you the tasks. Speed is important, and the boat in this particular class has a "not to exceed speed." You exceed the magic MPH, and you automatically go to the end of the line. This Livorsi GPS speedometer is GPS driven, and the battery inside the GPS has died, hence it is now non compos mentis. There are three options available. Remove the GPS, send it out, and have a new battery installed. Buy the new GPS engine that no longer needs a battery. Or do the not well advertised interfacing the NMEA output from a chart plotter to the instrument.

Comm wiring awry

The navigation gear works well, but it's old enough to have been purchased from Ye Olde Marine Electronics Chandlery, and the NMEA interfacing to the new laptop has taken forever. Six weeks alone on and off mucking around with the Actisense/PC interface, only to discover that Window's automatic updates were changing the USB driver when I wasn't looking. It was like gremlins were sneaking in at night, killing the good elves, stealing the shoes they made, and doing their software evil.

Battery installus incompetentous interuptus

Timmy, we just sold the bow rider, and we will have to deliver the boat with a battery. Here is a bag of coppers. Take them to the market, and buy the cheapest battery you can find, and hurry back. And Timmy, if you come back with magic beans again you're going to be in big trouble.

The boat dealer is facing two conundrums. First off most smaller boats are not shipped with the batteries. Maybe there is some sort of interstate shipping regulations about this, or tipping the boat just a few degrees will let the batteries tumble out of the marginal restraints used to keep them in place. I think the boat builder just doesn't want to spend the money installing them. This has the added benefit of not testing the boats electrical system before shipping. Why look for trouble in the first place I say?

The dealer has to also worry about whether his staff has the competence and moxie to install the batteries in the first place. I mean look at all of the those wires, and ooh, look at all the pretty colors.

This is the end result. The solution from this dealers cost viewpoint is one cheap battery, with everything plugged into it. It's not hard. Take all the black wires and attach them to the negative post, and all of the reds go to the positive post. Hmm, what about the yellow wire Bob? It seems more reddish, then blackish, and what's up with these pink, and brown wires? It seems brown is closer to black than red. We better call the factory and ask.

The 315MHz incident

The captain successfully single hands the down east style yacht out of the Lake Okeechobee Mayaca lock. He throttles up headed toward Stuart Florida. Almost immediately there is a problem. The boat seems sluggish, and not very responsive in the water. He glances back and sees a a 20' high vertical wall of water rising from the stern. Throttles are slapped back to neutral. The wall of water immediately disappears.

He now realizes the hydraulic swim platform carrying the dingy has been somehow actuated and sank fully downward. The dingy now full of water is nearly underwater. He is familiar enough with the boat to know there is a manual wired pendant in the engine room. Using this he raises the platform in small increments allowing the water to drain from the dingy. Shortly all is well. The engine's motor wasn't submerged, so in the end there is no damage. 

Wire Pushmepullme, maybe

This is euphemistically an access hatch, and a poor excuse for one at that. It would have been better if it was actually more than marginally usable. This is the upper starboard arch pull area. Just below this is the big Kahuna of pull areas to the console which is only accessible from a five inch hole located three feet aft.  I refer to it as the spiky abyss of blood letting.

123 TD Andrea

I'm a bit weather obsessed. No it's worse that. I'm a decent amateur meteorologist, but note I do not claim by any known standards to be a professional. I do have an impressive set of weather links and through them I have access to most of the same tools meteorologists use.

On Wednesday I'm eating lunch out and convince staff to switch one of the TV's to the Weather Channel. The morning had been warm and heavily overcast, and I was trying to decide what would become of the rest of the day. Yep the low was still in the gulf, and not appearing to be doing much. The big rain blob that was stalled a bit to the south was just starting to lift northward. I think I maybe see a little more twist in the radar image than I would have expected, but off I go to a boat condo facility. Working on the inside where it's dry has become the mandate of the day.

Word play analysis

Your word is "singerie." "singerie, did I pronounce it right?" "Yes, singerie." "What is the part of speech?" "It's a noun." "May I have the definition?" "Singerie is a picture, decoration or design in which monkeys are depicted." "Would you please use it in a sentence?" "The singerie painting Bob bought for one buck at the flea market depicts monkeys in top hats and tails talking about how disgusting their species smell." "Singerie, S-I-N-G-E-R-I-E, Singerie."

One of my favorite shows to watch is the Scripp's annual spelling bee. It provides some hope that not every child is spending all of their time mindlessly drooling while watching looping six second Vine videos on smart phones.

I was surprised. "Singerie" is a real word? Why in the world did we ever need to have a word for a picture depicting monkeys aping human behavior in a painting? I don't have a single painting decorated with monkeys, and don't know anyone who does. I can't even remotely understand why someone would want to have said simian related content on their wall. Now that I'm through insulting both collectors worldwide of singerie based art, my point is don't we have enough words already?

Arduino weds Raspberry. The "Freeboard" project

"If you imagine it's possible, someone else is already trying to doing it, or has already done it." The Installer.

This was how I left my musing on the fictitious open source Celestronic M1 chart plotter system. I wasn't aware at the time how extensive the efforts were by an ever increasing cabal to build these types of systems. My screen display was photoshopped, the ones below are real.

Another aspect of the Celestronic story was to illustrate how tentative marine electronics manufacturers have been in adopting new technologies, although this has certainly improved over just the past few years. It seems with each technological advancement the buying public endorses, the rest of the herd immediately follows. Raymarine introduced the e7d with both WiFi, and blue tooth, and now who doesn't have this capability? But WiFi, and Bluetooth had been laying around for many years before its adoption into marine electronics world.

This all started with a somewhat cryptic comment left on the Celestronic post by "Practical Pirate." "Check out Freeboard at 42.co.nz." I did, and this is Robert Huitema's approach to an open source hardware/software navigation system, "The Freeboard Project".

You haven't come a long way baby.

"Frank, long time no hear, what's up?" "I need a GPS Bill, I'm maybe thinking about racing one of my boats in a new class." "Okay I guess, but's what's wrong with your Garmin 545?" "It doesn't meet the rules Bill?" "What do you mean it doesn't meet the rules, does it need to be newer?" "No, it has to be older. The rules say," The following is the SBIP APPROVED LIST OF GARMIN GPS’S 172, 172C, 178, 178C, 182, 182C, 188, 188C, 192, 192C, 198, and 198C. "Crimniy Frank, none of these are even manufactured anymore."

I have no comm port so I must scream

Six weeks ago I embarked on what should have been a fairly mundane task of getting NMEA data from a GPS and some older Simrad gear imported into a laptop running Nobletec's Odyssey Time Zero navigation software. This wasn't my first time at the NMEA data rodeo, and the results were pretty typical. Using the existing Prolific serial to USB converter I could only have one talker, and one listener, not that I didn't try to get a second talker to work. Alas, but not unsurprisingly one talker only for you, and some of the older NMEA version data was getting lost in translation. To help with these issues a Actisense NDC-4 was purchased.

Hello, my name is Bob, and I'm a battery abuser. Hi Bob!

Behold the flooded lead acid battery, unfortunately a perennial favorite of all too many boaters. Why? They cost less than better battery types such as sealed or AGM's. When I say they cost less I mean they are the cheapest battery you can buy. They do work well, if you can, and do check them on a regular basis, and the hotter the ambient temperatures become, the more often you have to check them. The words of the day are "evaporation, and accessibility."

I look at Bob shuddering, and wringing his pasty white smooth hands as he stares down into the crammed full engine room. Battery problems again Bob? You had these changed just last year didn't you? Where did you get them from, Wallymart? You did? Hum-mm  ahhh, who installed them Bob? Your skinny nephew did? When was the last time you checked the water levels in these Wallymart batteries?

Yachting on the Salton Sea

I was excited. A week in Palm Springs, a place I had never been. Looking around online I found there were lots of things to do. Go canyon hiking fending off gila monsters and tarantulas. Nope, not for me. The cable car ride, sure that's fine. Joshua Tree National Park, that sounds interesting. Are there tarantulas there? The Salton Sea? What's that all about?

It was the perfect storm. Bad engineering, greed, financial desperation, and the belief that the Colorado river could be managed, all combined at the turn of the century to create the Salton Sea. Today the Salton Sea, California's largest lake has an apocalyptic miasma about it, and a very uncertain future.

"Homeland Security" memo

MEMORANDUM FOR:  John LaPoint, chief of marine vessel tracking directorate.

FROM:  Bob Aliason, R&D manager, personnel tracking group.

SUBJECT:  New vessel tracking technology tests.

John, I can't tell you how pleased I am with the initial results we have gotten from this newly proposed vessel tracking technology we have code named "WiFiEye."

We all remember the reaming we took over the costs of installing all of those coastal AIS receivers disguised as cell phone towers. We're also still getting claims from the Department of the Interior for damage to coastal wetlands when they were installed. Complaints from all of the cell phone users grumping they weren't getting a cell signal from them didn't help things either. What made all of this worse was we never identified a single threat by collecting AIS data. I think the perps were just turning off their AIS transmitters before they offloaded their nerve gas, or suitcase nukes. I told everyone at the time that you shouldn't be able to shut them off before the legislation was passed.

Boat sale observations, the cast and crew

Being a shewed observer of human behavior I have noted some traits that seem to be common to most used boat sales. The first is that when people tell you it's not about the money, it's always about the money. The second one is the seller is going to lose money. It's all about the old tired joke" What are mixed emotions?" It's watching your mother in law driving your new car off a cliff.

Boating flare guns, or testicular terror?

Recently a Florida man, of course it's a Florida man, inadvertently or at least I hope so, shot himself in the groin with a marine flare gun. He subsequently required notable medical attention for damaged anatomy located in said region. So the question occurred to me, "What is the viability of using a marine flare gun as a weapon for self defense on a boat?"

You're kidding me right? You're not?

"Igor, I'm ready, hand me the brain, and my magnifying glasses. Give me a little space Igor, and what have you been using for mouthwash? Road kill? Good I'm done Igor. Throw the big knife switch... AND IT'S ALIVE!.... Hmmm sort of at any rate. It drools a lot, it's picking its nose, and sniffing the acetone. Igor where did you get this brain from?" "Ah that's a long story boss, but you know that bar across from the Magnifico boat factory?"

I'm perpetually flabbergasted at the inane things I find on production boats. They slap them together, and let someone else worry about the consequences. Here is today's prime example of a basic task made excruciatingly difficult, if not impossible. This sail boat came from the factory with the wind instruments and autopilot installed during construction. I'm adding a new Raymarine e7D to the starboard steering station, Ram mount for the Ipad on the port less used steering station, and a SR6 network box with a Sirius receiver for weather.

The Celestronic M3. The perfect chart plotter?

I was surprised I was even invited to see it. I met the boat at a private dock, and departed for a two hour cruise. This nav system looked sleek, but unimposing at first. It's only 1/2" thick, 14" wide and 10" high. But one should never judge a book by it's cover, and the wireless Celestronic M3 proves this.

Boats that spread their wings

Just as soon as the Wright Brothers figured out how to get an airplane off the ground, inventors were trying to get them to work on water. The first successful float plane flight was in the flimsy looking Le Canard in 1910. By 1923 short hop commercial flying boat service became available in Britain.

The pinnacle of commercial flying boat service was the iconic Pan Am Pacific Clipper (Boeing 314) starting in 1939. Service ended in 1941 with the US entry into WWII. The introduction of the Lockheed Constellation and the Douglas DC-4 rendered large commercial transoceanic and flying boat service obsolete. None of the Boeing 314 aircraft exist today. The last one was scrapped in 1950.

Here is the vocabulary. Seaplanes can take off and land on water and runways. The subclass of this genre is amphibian aircraft. They divide into floatplanes, and flying boats, with the later being defined as having a hull. What you're looking at is a sleek Seawind 3000 flying boat, and you have to build it yourself, or at least more than half of it. You can also buy one someone else built and had certified.

Slippery slope

"Okay Bob, give me about 15 minutes, and I will have the transducer installed. I will leave the wire tied up in the transom to the motor harness in a plastic bag. When you get the boat back to your house I will stop by and pull the transducer wire forward, and install the rest of the gear." "Thanks Bill, but I have been thinking. Since you're already here, could you get the GPS installed? I have been out of boating for a while, and I don't think I could find my way home without it." I look at my watch. This was supposed to be a quick give and go on a busy full schedule day.

That's when I heard the loud pop of a small vortex to the ether opening, and felt the first tug on my soul. I look at Bob, and I know he is right, so I say "Okay Bob, if the yard will give you the time I'll stick the gear in. Then I gotta go."