Friday, May 30, 2014

The press conference

Thanks for attending today. I'll take the first question. Okay Bob, what's your question? Let me be clear Bob, I'm not not going to comment about Cameragate today. As you know the facts are still under investigation. Right now no one seems to know why it was laying in the middle of US 41 including me. The fact the camera's memory chip was missing is concerning to all of us. I'm sure that our blog's security has not been compromised. And especially no comment about the one armed man spotted near the scene.  

Alright Sean you're up. Why do I just use big words all of the time? Well Sean, as you should know I don't just use big words. I use a bunch of little ones too. I guess those are the ones you just seem to know. You're a reporter Sean. Here's a little tip for you. The secret word of the day is dictionary. Whose next?

Suzanne, thank you for asking that question. As everyone is aware the blog post recession was deeper than anyone expected. It's time for a change to deal with this verbiage shortage. I have developed a comprehensive two point plan to deal with this pressing problem.

First instead of saying, yes I can, I'm starting to say no I can't. Now this may distress the boater who wants nausea inducing LED lighting installed, but I'm committing myself to maintaining my core values of marine navigation and safety related system installations. This will allow me more time to work on this very important issue.

Secondly I'm implementing a new program code named "Operation Divergence". I'm fired up about this new program and better days are ahead. Let me be clear the same great content that has always been here will continue. But intermixed in with it will be some microblogging style content, more videos, and a variety of cartoon and animation venues. I'm also going to spend some time looking at potentially emerging technologies that may be of interest to boaters.

Rodger, it's your turn. Rodger, don't get me wrong, but I don't know a guy with just one arm. Like I said in the beginning, I'm not going to comment any further on the subject. That's all time I have for today. They said this day would never come, but change is coming to the Rant. Thank you.

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