Saturday, July 23, 2011

The inquisition

"SILENCE! Bow down in awe whilst his most eminent, and fearsome "Installer" enters the chamber. His justice shall be swift and righteous. Bring forth the prisoner with his confession, and lock him in the stocks. The inquisition will now begin. You may now sit. The heinous crimes perpetrated by this guilty boat owner shall now be read aloud for all to hear."

The crimes are manyfold. Removing equipment from the hardtop, and making no effort to fill the multitude of holes.

Taking wiring from the fuse block, and not bothering to put the screws back in. 

Thou didst use most foul olde plumbing parts to cap pipes where you took off the autopilot hoses.

Thou'st did leave bare wires in the bottom of the console which were connected to the the fuse block. This may have resulted in a real fire to the vessel, or substantial wiring damage.

The final charge is back pulling all of the wiring without leaving a single string behind to allow the new owner to more easily install new equipment. What say ye to these charges prisoner?

"I'm just a poor hedge fund manager your worshipness. Marine electronics are expensive, and I didn't want to leave them behind, and the quote to have them removed by a trained professional was an outrageous $300. Caveat emptor is the rule of bond trading your most fierceness, why should it be different for a boat sale?"  

"The Installer is feeling merciful today, but your crimes are many, and punishment shall be meted out. Thou shall forfeit your Atocha coin, and gold chain. It shall be auctioned off, and the proceeds will go to youth sailing programs. You have one year to take every course offered by the United States Power Squadron, and your stereo and sub-woofer shall be removed from your boat. And lastly ye shall go to a shopkeeper and buyeth a length of twine 3 chains long, and keep it on your boat at all times. The Installer has spoken and justice has been given. Take him away." 

"Which prisoner is next? Ah, is it the president of Magnifico Yachts here again? Put him in the iron maiden. What should we do with him good persons?" "He's a witch" yells the crowd. "Burn him." The most fearsome Installer is not feeling so benevolent this time. 

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