Friday, November 29, 2013

Holiday appetizer from the galley

I understand the the dilemma many boaters face during the holiday season. You've been invited to that dockside potluck, and you don't know what to bring. Staring at the rusty one burner alcohol stove, and the three cubic foot icebox you clench up. No Beef Wellington is going to come out of this galley, and you're out of liver pate anyway. Looking in the pantry at the can of Spam, and the box of KD, you decide your famous fried Spam casserole isn't going to cut it with your erudite boating friends palates. There is an answer however, the quick and easy festive holiday season..... Baloney Cake.

The ingredients are simple:
1 1/2 lbs of baloney.
1 lb of cream cheese (2 8 ounce packages).
Powdered ranch dressing mix.
1 can of cheese in a can.
1 package sliced pepperoni.
Parsley for garnishing. 
I box of salty crackers, you choose.

The process is simple. Let the cream cheese warm up, (you can leave it out in the cockpit for a few hours) and mix in the ranch dressing powder.

Lay a slice of baloney down on the plate, and butter the top of it with the cream cheese mix, place another slice of baloney on that and repeat until it's about 5" high. Take the remaining cream cheese and frost your cake with it. Decorate the cake with the cheese in a can. Make pepperoni roses, and garnish with the parsley. In just a few minutes you will have made a spectacular eye candy appetizer worthy of any chef's galley.

When you cut into this epicurean beauty you will be amazed at what you have wrought. The dusky pink layers of puréed extruded pork products alternating with the bespectacled white cream cheese oozing out the sides will make your friends envious, and hungry. The mouth watering pepperoni roses will disappear first. Everyone will talk about this dish for years to come, and be prepared for the many requests you're going to get for this recipe. Or just smile and say, "It's a secret."

This is a treat everyone will enjoy. Even your vegetarian friends can partake by just scraping the cheese stuff off the baloney. You can pair this treat with with the beer of your choice, although serving it out of bottles is classier than cans. Don't go boating until the tryptophan buzz wears off, and have a happy and safe Thanksgiving Holiday from Bill and Kate. Kate made the pepperoni roses and attribution is required to keep the marital ship afloat.

1 comment:

  1. It's truly "West Marine cuisine on a Wal-mart budget", Bill. If only we had spray cheese here in Soviet Canuckistan.

    On second thought, I'm kinda OK with that...


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